I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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