Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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