im drinking this country out of the recession.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
