After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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