I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
