In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
