I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I have grass duct taped all over my body
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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