I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
