Taylor Swift is so right about you.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
