I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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