Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
