We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
