would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
