so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
