On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
