id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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