SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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