I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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