he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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