so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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