In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
These tits shall not be calmed
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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