Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
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