Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
