He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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