I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
