Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
