Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
