You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
