whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
