you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
