i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Too much gin, very little bucket
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
