i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
