I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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