I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
