I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
