Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
