I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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