I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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