I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
