She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
