if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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