I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
