ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
