I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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