did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
please come you make the beer taste better
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
