I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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