How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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