I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Vodka?
Forever.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
