You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
