Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
