I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
