"it" just moved
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
