I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
