I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
