Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.

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  (504): I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now. http://tfl.nu/wc97
  Replies (8) Good night (770) Bad night (2223)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!

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  (469): I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!! http://tfl.nu/b8q7
  Replies (46) Good night (1325) Bad night (26194)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick

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  (785): whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick http://tfl.nu/3xlh
  Replies (64) Good night (7713) Bad night (1841)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him

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  (608): He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him http://tfl.nu/0tzl
  Replies (6) Good night (1683) Bad night (2359)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.

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  (973): I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes. http://tfl.nu/85jv
  Replies (9) Good night (2588) Bad night (967)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him

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  (303): Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him http://tfl.nu/pmln
  Replies (11) Good night (2380) Bad night (1261)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again

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  (443): booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again http://tfl.nu/1mb1
  Replies (13) Good night (6446) Bad night (1276)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.

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  (954): Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body. http://tfl.nu/z8oj
  Replies (3) Good night (1147) Bad night (2199)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.

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  (519): Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey. http://tfl.nu/gckq
  Replies (10) Good night (1940) Bad night (983)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.

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  (709): I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking. http://tfl.nu/va6a
  Replies (2) Good night (1875) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other

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  (703): Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other http://tfl.nu/yr17
  Replies (1) Good night (1388) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"

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  (604): Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!" http://tfl.nu/of5t
  Replies (1) Good night (1094) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.

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  (214): Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again. http://tfl.nu/x4c6
  Replies (2) Good night (886) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.

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  (732): I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities. http://tfl.nu/lb71
  Replies (4) Good night (1180) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking

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  (801): The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking http://tfl.nu/vhrx
  Replies (1) Good night (216) Bad night (443)

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