I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?