That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
We have started to decorate penises.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
