No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He passed out mid-signature
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
