I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?