nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
God I need to hump something, right now.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
