I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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