i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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